Why Do Some Young Girls Lose Interest In Sports?

I’m a mother of a 13-year-old girl who has always been passionate about sports. She’s been playing soccer since she was a toddler, loves to swim, and until recently, she would never turn down an opportunity to get outside and be active. But over the past few months, she’s started to lose interest. She’s more hesitant to participate in practices, and I’ve noticed she’s less confident when she does. I’m worried that she might quit altogether. What can I do to help her stay involved and continue to enjoy sports?

Sincerely, 
“Suddenly Sidelined”

Dear Sidelined:

First off, know that what your daughter is going through is entirely normal—and you can thank puberty for it. This is a tough time for many young athletes, especially girls. It’s a period filled with changes—both physical and emotional—that can make even the most passionate athletes question their abilities and, in some cases, their love for the game. What once was a source of joy can start feeling like a burden.

During puberty, girls often experience a dip in their athletic performance. While boys might get stronger and faster, many girls find themselves struggling with the sports they once loved. This decline can be frustrating and discouraging, leading them to feel like they’re not good enough anymore. It’s not just about the physical changes; social pressures and self-consciousness about their changing bodies play a big role, too.

As a mother, it makes sense why you’d want her to stay in the game, not only because it keeps her active, but because it will set her up for life as well. There’s a saying I often use: “Girls who play sports become women who lead.” The lessons she learns on the field—teamwork, leadership, resilience—will serve her well throughout her life, far beyond sports. So, it’s important to help her stay engaged, even when the going gets tough.

Here’s what you can do to support your daughter during this pivotal time:

• Normalize the dip: Let her know that what she’s experiencing is totally normal. Many girls go through a rough patch during puberty, but it’s temporary. With time, persistence, and the right mindset, she can regain her confidence and continue to excel.
• Focus on fun, not competition: Encourage her to rediscover what she loves about sports. Maybe it’s the camaraderie with her teammates, the thrill of the game, or just being outside and active. Shifting the focus from competition to pure enjoyment can help reignite her passion.
• Promote body positivity: Puberty can really mess with a girl’s body image. Help her focus on what her body can do, not just how it looks. Emphasize the strength, endurance, and skills she’s building. This shift in perspective can boost her confidence and help her feel more comfortable in her own skin.
• Provide role models: Seeing strong, skilled women in sports can be incredibly motivating. Watch women’s sports on TV and talk about female athletes who are celebrated for their abilities, not just their appearance. These role models can show her that it’s not about being perfect—it’s about perseverance and passion.
• Create a supportive environment: Your daughter needs to know you’re in her corner, no matter what. Whether it’s finding a team that values personal growth or just being her biggest cheerleader, your support is crucial. A coach who understands the ups and downs of puberty can also make a huge difference.

Staying active during puberty isn’t just about keeping fit—it’s about helping your daughter grow into a strong, confident, and resilient young woman. By supporting her through this challenging time, you’re helping her develop skills that will serve her well for the rest of her life—on and off the field.

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