parenting
My Ex Doesn't Want To Co-Parent
Not sure what to say to your daughter about their transition into puberty? An OB/GYN has a few ideas.
3 min read
My daughter has entered puberty and it’s time to have the period talk. Where do I even start?
Signed,
“Time For The Talk”
Puberty creates uncertainty for young girls, and it can be a scary time for them, so the sooner you have the talk, the better.
The best way to open the conversation is by telling your child that the changes happening in her body are totally normal and you’re there to support her and answer any questions she might have as she navigates this journey.
Puberty generally starts between the ages of 8 and 13. If her breasts are starting to develop, or she has pubic hair or body odor, these are signs that her period is coming soon, so you want to make sure she’s prepared.
Since each child is different, your discussion should be individualized based on her maturity level. Focus on the facts, be straightforward, and start with basic information so neither of you feel overwhelmed. Don’t be dramatic or talk negatively about menstruation.
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You should explain that when she gets her period, blood will come out of her vagina, but there’s nothing to worry about. You might mention that periods usually last from three to seven days and can be irregular at first. You can also let her know that she might have less energy on days she has her period.
It’s also a good idea to prepare your daughter for cramps and premenstrual syndrome (PMS). This way she understands what’s happening if she feels moody, nauseated, or achy. Let her know that heating pads, along with medications such as Advil and Motrin, can help with symptoms.
Once you’ve explained what to expect, introduce your daughter to menstrual products and show her where you keep them in the house. You can also put together a kit for her to keep in her backpack or locker in case she gets her period at school. It should include clean underwear, wipes, and pads.
Make these discussions less awkward by providing her with illustrated books geared toward kids on the verge of puberty. You can read these books together, or if she feels more comfortable, have her to read them on her own. You might also enlist a family member or a friend a little older than her who feels comfortable talking to your daughter about their experience.
No matter how and when you start the conversation, make sure your child knows that periods are nothing to be ashamed of, she doesn’t have to hide them, and she can always get treatment for symptoms. Your daughter should be comfortable with her changing body and understand that periods are a normal part of growing up.
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