Rediscover Intimacy Post-Breast Cancer

It’s something that many breast cancer survivors experience, but rarely talk about: how their sex lives change after surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. In fact, cancer treatment can affect your body in ways that ripple into your psyche, self-esteem, and intimate relationships.

Following breast cancer treatment, your body is different, and as such, so is your self-image. Vaginal dryness, loss of libido, fatigue, and changes to your body shape are possible, and just a few of the factors that may contribute to a loss of interest in sex. It’s important to give yourself grace during this time. After all, you’ve been through a lot.

While things may not return to exactly how they were before, it’s absolutely possible to feel close and connected to your partner again—maybe even in new and deeper ways. There are steps you can take to rebuild both your connection to your partner and to yourself.

Start with open communication

It might feel intimidating, but the first and most important step is to have an honest conversation with your partner. Share how you’re feeling—both physically and emotionally. The goal is just to make space for both of you to express your concerns, fears, and hopes for intimacy going forward. You don’t need to “fix” everything overnight. Sometimes, just having these honest conversations can relieve some of the emotional weight you’re carrying. It also helps your partner understand what you’re going through, so you’re not navigating this alone.

It’s also important to bring up these concerns with your health care team as they may be able to help you find solutions.

Address physical symptoms

The physical side effects of breast cancer treatment, such as vaginal dryness or loss of libido, can make intimacy feel challenging. Hormone-based treatments might feel too risky for some women, depending on the type of breast cancer they had, but they’re safe to use in some cases so talk to your health care provider about your symptoms. And if hormone-based treatments are not the right choice for you, non-hormonal lubricants and moisturizers can offer immediate relief, while non-hormonal treatments like hyaluronic acid gels may provide more long-term comfort.

Rebuild body confidence

Body image concerns are common after breast cancer, especially if you’ve had a mastectomy or reconstruction. It’s normal to feel disconnected from your body. One way to start healing this relationship is to allow yourself time to get reacquainted with your new body, on your own terms and in your own time.

Consider seeking out a therapist who specializes in psycho-oncology or body image issues. You might also explore movement practices that help you reconnect with your body, whether it’s gentle yoga, dance, or tai chi. These activities can help you re-establish a sense of physical agency and comfort in your skin.

Take it slow

Intimacy shouldn’t be rushed. Take time to rediscover what feels good, what brings you joy, and how you want to connect with your partner, without the pressure to “return” to what things used to be.

If you’re experiencing a loss of libido, remember that your body has been through significant changes, and this can naturally affect desire. Intimacy is not just about sex—it’s about touch, closeness, emotional connection, and feeling safe together. Sensual touch, massages, or even spending time cuddling can help rebuild physical closeness until you’re ready for intercourse. Sometimes simply reducing the pressure and anxiety around sex can help reignite desire.

Every couple goes through changes in their relationship, and this is just one of those seasons where you’re learning how to connect in new ways. By communicating openly, addressing physical symptoms, and rebuilding your confidence in your body, you can absolutely find your way back to each other again.

• Learn more about breast cancer survivorship from Northwell’s Katz Institute for Women’s Health.
• Getting past the stigma of sex.
• How I found greater purpose after my breast-cancer diagnosis.
• Check out The Well's comprehensive breast cancer page.