Your Path to Single Motherhood

When single women come to see me, the first thing I typically ask is: What does your ideal path to motherhood look like? Whether it’s egg freezing, IUI, IVF, sperm and/or egg donation, each option offers a step toward creating the family you’ve envisioned.

With more choices than ever, single women can approach this deeply personal journey with clarity and confidence. Here’s an overview of the options to help guide your next steps.

Preserving your fertility with egg freezing

Egg freezing allows single women to preserve their options without the immediate need to choose a sperm donor or embark on other treatments. It’s like hitting pause on your biological clock, giving you flexibility to choose a partner or a donor in the future.

Why this option: Since egg quality decreases over time, freezing your eggs in your 20s or early 30s can optimize your chances for success later.

The process: You’ll undergo hormone injections to stimulate egg production, followed by a 15-minute egg retrieval procedure (under sedation), and then your eggs are frozen for future use all the way to age 50.

Considerations: Testing and consultation are typically covered but varies based on insurance. Costs can be significant, but many employers and insurance plans now offer coverage.

Choosing a sperm donor

For single women considering IUI, IVF, or embryo creation, selecting a sperm donor is a pivotal step in the process. Many women find the donor selection process empowering, as it allows you to prioritize values, characteristics, or traits important to you and your family. You can choose an anonymous donor from a sperm bank, a known donor (such as a friend or family member), or a directed donor. Each choice involves emotional, legal, and logistical considerations.

Whichever you choose, clinics ensure donors undergo rigorous genetic and medical testing to reduce health risks for you and your future child. Clinics also often provide guidance, including access to counselors, geneticists, and donor profiles (including baby and adult photos) to help you make an informed decision.

IUI: A simpler path to parenthood

Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a straightforward option for women ready to start their journey to motherhood.

Why this option: It’s ideal for women with no major fertility issues who are prepared to conceive now.

The process: After choosing a donor, sperm is placed directly into the uterus during ovulation.

Considerations: The success rate for IUI is about 15% per cycle for women under 40, varying by age and health. Multiple cycles might be needed.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) provides a higher success rate and the ability to test embryos for genetic conditions and chromosomal abnormalities, making it ideal for women facing fertility challenges or seeking more certainty. It reduces the risk of multiple gestation and miscarriage rate.

Why this option: IVF allows for precise control, including testing embryos for chromosomal abnormalities. It empowers you with informed choices about embryo health.

The process: Eggs are retrieved, fertilized in a lab with donor sperm, and healthy embryos are transferred to the uterus that month or at a later stage (months to even years following the retrieval).

Considerations: A typical IVF cycle takes two to four weeks and involves several stages of preparation and monitoring. It may also be costly if not covered by your insurance.

Surrogacy: Building a family with support

Surrogacy provides a pathway to parenthood when health or other factors make carrying a pregnancy unfeasible.

Why this option: For women unable to carry a pregnancy, gestational surrogacy offers a way to have a child with a biological connection.

The process: A surrogate carries the pregnancy using either your eggs or donor eggs and donor sperm (anonymous or directed). Surrogate agencies work with your fertility center to coordinate the screening process, as well as help women find the right surrogate match. Some women might ask a close friend or family member to be their surrogate. Either way, a legal contract is required to ensure a smooth journey

Considerations: Surrogacy requires financial planning, legal agreements, and close collaboration with your surrogate. The key to a successful match is to find a surrogate who is both healthy and right fit for you.

Navigating the journey

Your fertility journey begins with your first consultation, which involves health reviews and fertility tests. This is followed by a series of diagnostics, including bloodwork, ultrasounds, and genetic testing, which can take four to six weeks. Then your doctor will help you determine the best course of action. Once the decision is made, the process—whether egg freezing stimulation, insemination, IVF with or without embryo transfer to follow—can begin shortly after.

Becoming a single mother is as much about emotional readiness as it is about medical decisions. Many clinics provide access to fertility counselors who can help you process the emotional aspects of donor conception and single parenting. Friends, family, or online communities can offer encouragement and advice throughout your journey. And a reminder: Fertility treatments often take months, so patience, a strong medical team, and having the right support system are key.

• When it comes to fertility, age matters.
• Northwell’s approach to egg freezing.
• Pick the fertility clinic that meets your needs.