My Life As A Hospice Nurse

When people find out that I’m a hospice nurse, they often ask me, “Isn’t that depressing?” They can’t imagine themselves in my shoes, working with patients who are living their final days, weeks, or months. But I wouldn’t trade what I do for anything else.

Hospice care is a very niche job, even among nurses. But for those of us who do it, it’s a passion and a privilege.

When a patient’s life expectancy is six months or less, hospice care helps to improve their quality of life for their remaining days. We help patients and their families with pain management, symptom management, emotional counseling, and spiritual support. About 95% of the time, we help patients stay at home until the end, which is overwhelmingly preferred among patients.

This enables patients to focus on their closest relationships and any bucket-list goals that are within reach, instead of coping with intense pain and going back and forth to the hospital whenever there are health crises.

Here’s what I wish more people knew about being a hospice nurse:

1. Hospice nurses love what we do

We don’t become hospice nurses by accident. I’ve always found myself drawn to patients who were dying. Early in my career, I worked as an oncology nurse, with cancer patients. I also worked with patients with HIV/AIDS before today’s effective treatments were available, when patients generally died.

It’s an honor to help patients with their journey. We develop close bonds with the patients and their families, and because we’re in their homes, we’re often there to witness emotional interactions between patients and their relatives. You can feel it when you’re in the presence of love—it’s palpable.

Every day is different, yet every day I help patients and their families. It’s a unique job that I’m very passionate about.

2. Hospice nurses have many roles

Before patients enter hospice, they may have struggled with shortness of breath, unmanaged pain, or other symptoms. We offer interventions that help to ease these symptoms. But hospice care goes beyond managing physical symptoms.

Some patients are very accepting of their diagnosis and prognosis. Other individuals struggle, unsettled by their circumstances. As a nurse, I work with the social worker to pick up on things like this, to help patients reach a better place emotionally. Maybe they’ve been estranged from their son and are thinking about reconnecting. We can help them plan and move forward so that they can achieve their goals.

We’re also an invaluable resource for loved ones. We teach family caregivers how to provide care. And we offer emotional support to help family members cope with the reality of the situation. I try not to cry with my families, because I’m not supporting them if I do, but I’m there for them when they need to cry.

The majority of hospice patients are older adults; the longer people live, the more likely they are to receive a life-limiting diagnosis or experience end-stage complications of a serious illness. But there are no age limits on hospice.

Anyone who has a prognosis of six months or less can be eligible. We sometimes have babies, children, teenagers, and young adults in hospice. The process is the same for patients of all ages: We help to ease symptoms while offering compassionate care.

4. Hospice nurses help guide families through different experiences

When I meet with patients and families for the first time, I tell them that hospice care creates a 24-hour safety net for symptom management.

There’s nothing mundane about this job. Every day, I see different patients and families coping with their conditions, and we try to help improve situations.

The job allows me to switch gears, focusing on patients and family members. I provide health knowledge, as well as emotional support.

I might sing classic Broadway showtunes to a patient with end-stage dementia, because dementia patients are often able to connect with music. If a patient needs to be transferred to an inpatient unit for a higher level of care, I might arrange for the family to get together one last time at home, before the patient leaves. If the patient’s children live far away, I might speak with them by phone and also get to know their local caregivers.

5. More people could benefit from hospice

I wish that more people took advantage of the hospice benefit, but many patients and their families don’t know about it. In fact, many physicians aren’t familiar with hospice care, so they can’t refer patients to hospice when the time is right.

Because of this, some people come onto hospice very late. Families may not hear about it until the final days of their loved one’s life.

I always recommend that people enter hospice earlier, so that they can benefit from the many services. But any amount of time that your loved one can spend on hospice is valuable, even if it’s for a short time frame.

Hospice is so often centered around the certainty of death. If there was anything I would want my patients, families and colleagues to know and understand is that the mission of the work we do looks to celebrate life and to continue to provide quality resources to support each and every life story.

• There are many life-affirming benefits to hospice care, beyond just the very end of life.
• Here’s what you need to know about hospice care.
• How hospice helped my family.
• Learn more about Northwell’s Hospice Care Network.