How To Talk About Migraines With Your Friends

One thing I often hear from my patients—sometimes in a quiet, almost apologetic tone—is this: “It’s not just the migraines. It’s explaining them to everyone else.” That sentiment strikes a chord because it reveals a hidden layer of the struggle. Migraines don’t just disrupt your physical health—they ripple into your relationships, your career, and how you navigate the world.

As a clinical psychologist who works with people managing chronic migraines, I see this challenge play out daily. If you’ve ever felt guilty about canceling plans or asking for accommodations because of migraines, let’s get one thing straight: This is a neurological condition, not a personal flaw. You don’t owe anyone an apology for taking care of your health.

While managing the pain itself is crucial, learning how to communicate your needs and set boundaries can make a world of difference. Here’s how to advocate for yourself with the people in your life, whether personal or professional.

How to explain migraines to family and friends

Educating your loved ones is key to building a supportive network. Many people don’t realize that migraines are more than “just a bad headache.” They can involve nausea, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, and other symptoms that make even basic tasks feel impossible.

Here’s how to approach these conversations:

Start with empathy. Acknowledge that migraines can be hard for others to understand. For example, you might say, “I know it’s hard to imagine what migraines feel like, but they really impact my ability to function.”

Be specific. Let your loved ones know what helps—or hurts—during an episode. If bright lights are a trigger, ask them to dim the room or suggest quieter activities.

Ask for help in actionable ways. Instead of saying, “I can’t deal with this right now,” try, “Could you help by picking up dinner? I need to rest.”

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but it’s better to communicate your limits upfront than to push yourself and end up in a full-blown migraine.

How to advocate for your migraine needs at work

Navigating migraines in the workplace can feel especially tricky, but it’s possible to advocate for yourself while maintaining professionalism. The key is framing your needs as solutions.

Be prepared. Schedule a meeting with your manager when you’re feeling well, so you can approach the conversation calmly.

Keep it concise. You don’t need to share every detail—just explain how migraines affect your ability to work and what accommodations could help. For example, “Fluorescent lights can trigger migraines for me. Would it be possible to use a desk lamp instead?”

Use the tools available. If your migraines qualify as a disability, you may be entitled to formal accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Human resources can guide you through this process.

Build allies. Whether it’s a supportive colleague or a manager who understands, having someone in your corner can make a big difference.

Why setting boundaries for migraines is essential

It’s crucial that you pace yourself, even when you’re feeling good. Many of my patients fall into the trap of pushing themselves on good days—only to crash later. Think of pacing like running a marathon. Sprinting might get you ahead temporarily, but it won’t sustain you for the long haul.

Pacing might look like scheduling breaks into your day or saying no to social plans when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Remember, boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about protecting your energy so you can show up fully when it matters most.

Tips for building a support network for migraine relief

Support doesn’t always come naturally. It’s something you build through honest communication and realistic expectations. Whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, or an online migraine community, finding people who understand your experience can make a world of difference.

Migraines are tough, but they don’t define you. By approaching your relationships with empathy and clarity, you can create an environment where your needs are respected, and your well-being comes first.

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